Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Low Tide

Have you ever seen the Bay of Fundy?
This is what happens at low tide every day.
Nova Scotia is known for high tides and low tides.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Breaking the Cycle

Today I stumbled upon a blog that well that I am thankful I found. Violence UnSilenced is a blog that allows women to post about domestic abuse in relative safety. It gives women a voice. Right now it is up for an award at BlogHer during the BlogLuxe Awards. I think this blog deserves to win for what it does for so many women.

Why is it so much on my heart?

You see I know firsthand what domestic abuse is, and what it can do to a woman. You can say I have been there and walked that road. As have other family members.

When I was a child I watched as my mother was beaten black and blue so badly that she was left disfigured for weeks. I watched her run bleeding barefoot from an apartment into the street just so she could get away. I watched and learned, and knew this is not what I wanted for me.

Maybe this is why I was ( still am) so careful when it came to men? Maybe to this day it is why I have walls up all around me.

Maybe after watching my mom live through hell, it is why I ended up 7 1/2 months pregnant at a Battered Woman's Shelter. I was never hit. I can say that about my ex. I did live through months of emotional hell though. I saw the signs and got out. I think I was lucky.

Many women do not get out. Many women go back time and time again. Many women choose the same kind of men. These are all facts.

Breaking the cycle of domestic violence takes hard work. It takes time, patience and working on your own issues. It is not easy. It is often a very lonely path. With that said it is something that can be achieved. I know that for I am breaking that cycle every day.

Please do vote for Violence UnSilenced as every woman needs to have a voice and the stories of courage, and strength on this blog will inspire others to leave and find safety.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Bad Mom Good Mom

Over the last few weeks there have been many posts out there in Bloggerville about "good" moms and "bad" moms. About the different styles of parenting, about the how to's and how not to.

For me many times by many people I have been labeled a bad mom while on other days I have been labeled a good mom. Personally I am just another mom. I don't think I am a bad mom but I know I am not that "good" mom either. Please just call me mom.

With that said I am a mom. I have been a mom for a long time now. I have been Roo's mom for almost 12 years now and before her I was step mom to 3 very terrific kids who here on this blog I will refer to as my 3 Musketeers, as they were always together when they were little. I was also mom to Sam my babe who has been in heaven for 17 years now. I think that gives me a bit of mom experience.

What I hate most about what I have seen on many blogs is how we can look down on each other, how often we are quick to judge one other. It seems each mom thinks they know best as we often do. We are quick to comment, to correct, while instead is is not inside us to do the right thing. Sometimes that right thing, is silence is you disagree with what is being said. You know that old saying"if you can not say something nice, do not say anything at all". I am not saying there is not a time or place for disagreeing but really some of the comments I have read do nothing for moms as a whole.

You see over the years I have been a mom who has been judged as often happens with the moms of special needs children. We are given unwanted advice, told how to better parent, told in some ways we are responsible for how our child behaves when that behavior is part of a medical disorder that does exist. Over the years I have been told to give her more time-outs, to discipline her more, make her try different things and the list goes on and on. I have even had well minding people call Children's Aid on me more then once ( each time to have the file closed within 2 weeks).When does it stop?

Over the years I have heard every kind of comment from the peanut gallery that make up those that are in my life. Some of the comments have lead me to question myself, to doubt, to wonder, but then I wake up and smell the coffee and realize that no mom is perfect, and sometimes even moms hide behind masks to purely exist and pretend all is well.

I know what that is like from first hand experience, I used to be that kind of mom. Then along came Roo and the mask had to come down and down fast for I realized if I was going to parent solo style I needed a community behind me. I am glad that people came into our lives at the right time to encourage, to bless, to befriend when needed.

As for what style of parenting is best, what works best, my philosophy is now this let your gut lead you. Let is lead me. There will always be experts telling us the how to and how not too but I think we can get too caught up in all that is out there that we can forget what is important and that is being a mom who is their in their own way for their child.

For me as a blog commenter I try to remember what is really important, not all the mumble jumble that makes up the parenting world but us and our kids. I think as bloggers and as moms we can do more of that but then I am the sappy mom who wants diversity and respect. Is that too much to dream of?

Friday, June 12, 2009

Witnessing Miracles

A long time ago, I was married to who I thought was my forever guy and when were married I got blessed to be a step mom. Really I wasn't that wicked step mom. I was a pretty nice one, well most days I think.I got to be apart of 3 wonderful kids lives for a blip. The time I was married to their dad. When I fell for him I feel for each of his kids too, very much so, they were apart of me just like my daughter Roo is apart of me.

When we got divorced there was alot of meanness and I wont say I wasn't part of it. I was. What hurt most though was the fact that ties to the kids, Roo's older siblings were cut. She has had no real meaningful contact with her big brothers and sisters for years at their dad's choice.

Well guess who are now of age and can chose for themselves? Her siblings. Today I witnessed a miracle Roo talking to her big brother via video chat. He lives in Arizona. It was great for me to watch Roo get to know her big brother a bit. He even commented on one of her charcteristics being a family trait. It was so great to be apart of. Roo has always wanted to know them, maybe now that they are older they will want contact with her. I think Roo's life will be richer having them it but know what. They are at an age where they can choose. For me though today was the answer to years of prayer. I prayed that Roo at some point would be connected to each of her siblings. I was very glad to witness today. Got to say it left me with tears in my eyes.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

My Little Athlete

Roo is quite competitive. She takes after me like that.
This week was the town track and field meet. Roo competed in long jump
and the 100 m race. She placed 5th in long jump and she raced well as well and
showed great sportsmanship , which was the goal of the day.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Best Friends

Did not realize that yesterday was best friends day. Over the years of my life I have been blessed to have some great girlfriends. Many of time were for a certain time period in my life yet I am thankful for each one of them.

When I was little, there was my bestest friend Carolyn. She lived real close to me. We often played together and really we got into a lot of mischief together as well. For all my elementary years Carolyn was there and I am thankful that I have her as my childhood best friend.

In my teen years we moved to Winnipeg and there was the gang from church. We were always all together in a group hanging together, and doing stuff together. I had a good group of friends for these years as well.

During my university years I counted on my sisters, sorority sisters that is. The sisters of Apha Phi were the best. They kept me out of trouble many a day.

In my early twenties after I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I had a great circle of friends as well. When I lived in Halifax the young single group was the best, then when I moved to Toronto again I meet sisters that well became my best friends.

When I married and moved to Carlsbad, New Mexico I was thankful to have Lynette and Gayln come into my life especially. They were my rocks especially as divorce hit.

Then when I moved back to Ontario, I was blessed with Anne Marie, Yvonne, Sharon, Jennifer, Ruby and Jennifer. Each brought something unique into my life and I am forever thankful for there presence.

Now that I am here in Nova Scotia I feel a certain loss as I don't have that best friend or great circle of friends here yet, but I know it will come with time.

I am thankful though because of being online I have been able to connect and reconnect with many old friends and that has been such a blessing in itself. So if you have a great girlfriend don't forget to celebrate that friendship for they truely are a blessing.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Have You Discovered Diane Birch?

This week one of my friends sent me to You Tube to watch this video of a song called Fire Escape. I feel in love with the artist. I think you will love her too.

What I like most about her, she is an artist who gives back to the community. If you buy her album $1 goes to help one of six charities. If you buy it from the widget on this blog you help raise money for Autism Speaks.

I don't do alot of fund raising on my blog but thought this was too good not too support and I hope you will too.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Wordless Wednesday-Coal Mining

I had never seen a coal mine until I moved here.
Nova Scotia has a history that is rich in mining.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Scared Stiff!

OMG! I know I am good at my job. The awards and accolades over the years have told me so. But here I sit a nervous ninny! I started being a work at home mom last night with the onboarding (that means loading your computer with a heck load of tools that you need for work).

But we ran into a huge problem. They didn't not get my ID number into their system, which means when I got to get access to the server tonight I may not get in. They have told me this will be resolved by my start time and I pray it is.

I am also nervous because for my company I am one of a handful of agents being allowed to take calls from home. My great customer service skills got me here(OK, I am a good bs'er.).They goal will be to grow the program.

I am also nervous because my daughter Roo will have to keep it down to a dull roar, is that an okay expectation of a tween who loves music? I have bought her headphones so I should be okay in that department. Will she think she can interupt mommy at work? I have given her rules and guidelines and I hope she gets it. Time will tell. I am hopeful. I want this to work!

Have you ever been excited, nervous and scared stiff? How did you handle it? I think I have jumped off the bridge and I am just waiting for the landing.

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