Friday, January 6, 2012

Revisiting

This week I returned to something familiar, this old blog of mine. I read old posts, and reminisced. I thought about the past few years and all the twists and turns it brought. I thought about the woman I am now, I thought about the dreams I had when I was so much younger, you know those high mountainous goals. I thought by 40, I would be married, house, kids..raising a family, working hard.

I had another birthday last week, another year gone and those dreams of yesteryear are becoming but a distant memory. The dream of teaching, the dream of a good marriage, the dream of travel.

Instead life through me a few curve balls, you know the kind, that no one sees coming.

There was the rape, and the miscarriage.
There was a short marriage.
There was the fire.
There was the hurricane.
There was the cancer.
There was job losses and gains over the years.
There were 14 moves.
There was a daughter bullied so badly she ended in the hospital.

There was so much one could call it craptacular.

There were also friends found in each location who became my steady rocks.
There was a place to lay my head each and every night even when I was homeless.
There was food always.
There was the blessing of having a beautiful daughter.
There is the job I have today.
There were skills learned along the way.

I have learned you can make the best of plans, dream big, and all of that, but what you do in the small moments is what counts. It is what you do when life throws you that curve ball, because each of us will have our own.

My dreams of yesteryear may be gone, but what came along the way, the hard times, and the blessings along the way have made me who I am right now in this moment. I'm learning more and more about life in the moment. I am learning about faith, about the simple things that can bring the most joy. I have become a woman of strength, a woman who is content, and still optimistically dreaming, because the craptacular will come, but the biggest lesson learned it will also go.

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